Monday, June 14, 2010

finding the joy

it's been a rough couple of weeks. this weekend, my uncle passed away. at the end of this past week, we went through our second miscarriage. it's very difficult to find the joy in much these days, but that doesn't mean that joy doesn't still exist. it is still all around. i just have to open my eyes and see it.

and so i am. i am opening my eyes and seeing the beauty and blessings that we have in our lives.

in saturday mornings at the farmer's market. this time with nana. and the sweet, little screams (did i really just call those sweet? i must be exhausted.) from harper calling out for apples. then strawberries. and not being able to make it home the 2 block walk without stopping three times for another berry or 2.

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in afternoon impromptu pool dates with our friends, kellie and anna. late afternoon sun and water, and girlfriends to lean on and cry with and take our minds off things, even if just for a bit. thankful is what i'm feeling about that.

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in last minute throw together bbqs with our neighbors- chad, jacque and hunter. where michael and i have to quick step the 3 houses down the sidewalk to keep up with harper's excited sprint to see her friend. where we carry the grocery bag of beer and brownies, so at least we have made some contribution. where we laze in the backyard, enjoying the grillings and watching the kids as they slide and swim and swing. and the sweet end to our evening, after our frosted brownie dessert, when hunter and harper share the tot chair and hunter puts his arm around her, gives her a peck on the forehead and says i love you, harper. oh, jacque, girlfriend. we're in trouble. and then we slowly make our way back home for bed, with harper all nestled into her daddy.

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in the first summer ice cream truck visit to our street, and my joy in being able to share this age-old tradition with harper. standing on the sidewalk, dollars (yes, dollars. no more 25 cent ice cream treats.) in hand. listening to the music and waiting for the truck to pull up to choose which delish frozen happiness we'll savor.

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waving goodbye to the truck. til next time.

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in a sunday afternoon matinee with a girlfriend. thank you, kellie, for abandoning all brain cells with me, while enjoying a tub of popcorn and chocolate-peanut butter deliciousness while we laughed and cried and cringed during sex and the city 2. the escape to fictional and dreamy life was necessary, and so appreciated more than you know. and i really did have my camera in my purse the entire time, in case the mood struck. but, didn't end up getting it out.

so this week will be eventful. the last week of school. the wake and funeral. another doctor visit. life moving on. i try to remind myself to take time each day to find something simple and meaningful and beautiful in our daily routine, so as not to get bogged down with everything else swirling around us. harper makes that so much easier. her giggles and smiles bring more sunshine into our lives than i ever could have imagined. and that's a beautiful little gift.

2 comments:

About Christina said...

here's to more joy and happier weeks ahead. Thinking of you and your family at such a difficult time.

Love the ice cream truck photos and the baby moosejaw hoodie :)

Kellie said...

Great post...thanks for sharing joyful moments with me last week.