to my beautiful little girls,
this morning, i am headed in for round 2 of this journey i have found myself thrust upon. i will only be gone 1 night, and you will be in such awesome hands with your daddy and your grandparents, but i am already missing you.
knowing what i know from my first surgery only less than 2 months ago, i am nervous and worried and not at all looking forward to this. i have shed many tears, and i have leaned on daddy, nana, papa, heboo, topher and so many of my friends a lot, but they have continued to encourage me along. to be honest, i'm scared. and i want to run far away, with you and daddy right beside me, and never have to face this. but i am telling you this so that one day, you have my full approval to be scared and nervous and worried, to not want to take that next step knowing that you have to anyways, but to look those feelings right in the eyes and to go forward and do it with strength and beauty and calm.
know that God has you in his hands at all times, and will give you no more than you can handle. i have accepted this, and it is my full belief that i am already healed, this cancer is already gone, and i merely have to jump these next few hurdles to feel that complete healing. i am not saying or promising that these hurdles are easy. i am strong and i know God knows i can handle it. i know i can because you two and your daddy give me that strength and that love and that belief every. single. day. i am stronger because of you. i am wiser because of you. and i will accept this challenge and crush it because of you.
always remember my loves...
i am brave.
i am strong.
i am beautiful.
i am loved.
i will see you very, very soon.
all my love,